Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
