I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
