Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
