I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
