While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize