In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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