my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
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