my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
