There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
