I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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