Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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