dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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