Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
