You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize