But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
