there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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