Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
