Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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