It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
