my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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