I'm going to rape someone's good day.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
