The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
