what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize