I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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