and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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