if only i could text you this smell
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
