not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
