I wish my penis had an off switch
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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