Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize