I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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