Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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