the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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