fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize