'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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