There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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