The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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