id be glad to
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
