No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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