i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
