You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize