Nicole vs. Life
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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