how do flat chested girls get laid?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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