Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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