Apparently you make a good broom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize