just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
