now i know why i became what i already was.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
