Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
