I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
