whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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