I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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