Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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