if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
