The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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