i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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