I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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