found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize