tell your sister to shave her snatch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
