two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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