I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
