I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.