Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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(757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype

Replies (5) Good night (2134) Bad night (477)
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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio

Replies (22) Good night (676) Bad night (3602)
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(248): View more from Michigan

new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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(248): new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home. http://tfl.nu/dmz8

Replies (49) Good night (5307) Bad night (2165)
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(714): View more from California

Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful

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(714): Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful http://tfl.nu/3flc

Replies (30) Good night (7041) Bad night (1321)
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(817): View more from Texas

Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

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(817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel". http://tfl.nu/2v56

Replies (15) Good night (5110) Bad night (985)
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(903): View more from Texas

I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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(903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp

Replies (13) Good night (4637) Bad night (764)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest http://tfl.nu/b35x

Replies (20) Good night (5325) Bad night (1938)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(615): At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board... http://tfl.nu/p8y8

Replies (11) Good night (3331) Bad night (1101)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(586): Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate" http://tfl.nu/hjnw

Replies (6) Good night (1049) Bad night (3519)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

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(856): I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything. http://tfl.nu/b77d

Replies (8) Good night (3818) Bad night (764)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(814): He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever http://tfl.nu/aoid

Replies (10) Good night (3455) Bad night (987)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?

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(314): I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season? http://tfl.nu/6vbo

Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (500)
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(630): View more from Illinois

they sound like some classy girls.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.

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(630): they sound like some classy girls. (1-630): Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting. http://tfl.nu/azgf

Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (497)
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(315): View more from New York

He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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(315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu

Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (187)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.

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(973): Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts. http://tfl.nu/8jrx

Replies (4) Good night (205) Bad night (278)

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