Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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