Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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