did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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