Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
pray to the hookup gods
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
