You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
