i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
