i just google imaged poop.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
