Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just pynch a tree in the face
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
