i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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