i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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