honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
