i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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