? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
